Tanya Russell
Whilst I watched the above epic performance, Jordan ventured to the Water’s Edge stage to check out One Million 
Fingers, another band that had greatly impressed us at the Live and Unsigned competition. These guys really are something else; bluesy rock with a modern feel – if you like Blues Brothers then you will LOVE these guys. A very polished act for such a new band, their experience betrays their age. The last song of the set, Big City Lights is a slick symphony with an anthem inducing chorus confirmed that this band are definitely one to watch.
The Main Stage kicks the evening off with Show of Hands, with their sublime blend of musical genres indicating, as their song Roots declares, that people should widen their musical horizons, look around the world for inspiration and stop thinking that American Pie is an asset to any set list. At the Tornado Tent, the crowd is treated to a rendition of Joleyn with a rockabilly backbeat that is sung with all the passion and rage that the lyrics can conjure to the less passive amongst us. The Boot Hill All Stars convert the song into a veiled threat rather than an abject plea.
We then hot footed it over to the Main Stage to watch The Popes, knowing that we would enjoy their musical mayhem and riotous revelry having caught them earlier in the year whilst they were supporting The Stranglers. This is music that is fast, frenetic and feverishly danceable. Joining in some hectic reels with a hugely enthusiastic crowd, it becomes clear to us that The Popes are a band that demand your attention and your participation. This is what music should be about, not whatever pointless pap soils our charts this week. If you don’t walk away from The Popes set smiling, you need to check your pulse and get to a doctor fast! In the Tornado Tent, The Cracked Actors offer an intriguing blend of reggae and ska to a bouncy crowd that are enjoying the vibe. Followed by the whirling dervish that is Pronghorn with their punk edged lyrics and their country and western sounds, the band ensure that the Tornado Tent lives up to its name with a veritable hurricane of chaos laden cool. Exhausting but a great deal of fun.
The Main Stage builds up to the ultimate punk band The Damned with arguably the finest rhythm and blues act on the circuit, Dr Feelgood. With a fast driving rendition of Bo Diddly’s Who Do You Love? and the crowd bouncing along and singing Milk and Alcohol, the band welcome the sundown with ‘Back in The Night’, the distinctive guitar riff seeming to summon the dark. Ending with the bluesy classic Down at the Doctors, Dr Feelgood show the less experienced acts on the circuit how to really nail the genre. Meanwhile, 3 Daft Monkeys show why the Bearded Theory Festival was established by filling the frosty air with expertly crafted fiddle fuelled melodies with a sharp bite. Their frantic energy and passionate vocals ensure that this is a band you should seek out if they perform in your area.
The Tornado Tent headliners Back to the Planet deliver a feast of female fronted indie dance perfect for nineties nostalgia for those who recognised early the burgeoning indie scene. The Main Stage is the venue for The Damned, a band frequently at the forefront of innovation, as their eclectic set indicates. An energetic and enthusiastic crowd chant along with opening number Waiting for the Blackout and the pogo starts in earnest during high octane performances of New Rose and with the introduction of Ignite the crowd are incandescent in appreciation. A blinding set hurtles along with Love Song echoing across the mist shrouded stage, an extended version of Neat, Neat, Neat and even an impromptu short blast of Wot from Captain Sensible really firing up the crowd, which they needed, not being dressed in freaky furry finery (check out the photographs). The beautifully 
haunting Eloise; dedicated to any namesakes in the audience gets an enthusiastic reception from some possible Eloises and some who are definitely not, such as the huge bearded bloke beside me. A fine set list that would appeal to fans and festival fans alike, The Damned offered an exciting end to an excellent day. A quick plum potion from the Nurses Cottage van rounded the evening off nicely, although the more dance orientated members of the crowd could enjoy another two hours of dancing courtesy of System 7 in the Magical Sounds tent.
SUNDAY
An early morning call to the fantastic home-cooked Welsh food stall for a vegetarian breakfast, including the discovery 
that lava bread is tasty despite the aesthetics followed by a mosey on down to The Water’s Edge stage to watch another Live and Unsigned act Lee Gogh. The set starts with the soul-filled Under the Raincloud, a tune with a bouncy guitar riff and perfectly executed vocals. This is followed by the cri-de-couer in defence for a doomed relationship, the marvellously melancholy If It’s Meant To Be. By the time Gogh reaches Smile from My Face a crowd is starting to gather and clap along to this little slice of summer-tinged happiness; an indication of how good this guy really is as early morning Sunday slots are not the easiest gig in the world at a festival. The soaring vocal of This Gift tracks a tale of treachery and resounding regret once the deed is done whilst Slow Down has all the makings of a successful single with its foot-tappingly catchy chorus and a clever segue into You Can’t Hurry Love. The set is nicely rounded off with Same Road, a now larger crowd of early morning revellers swaying along, one of whom felt the need to repeat constantly ‘Isn’t he good? He sounds like Paul Weller’ and Sacrifice a sublimely beautiful number that proves that sometimes political protest can be more effective when sung rather than shouted. A later acoustic set is also extremely popular and the addition of the emotive Car Crash has the tent in awe, whilst a demanded encore of a cover of Stand By Me really showcases Gogh’s vocal talent. We are sure that you will be hearing more from this singer-songwriter.
Now it was time for the moment I had been waiting for…the exuberant energy and bouncing whirlwind of wit that is Wheatus. Hoping that I will avoid serious injury (a woeful tale of idiocy…check out the interview for details), I make my way hurriedly to the Tornado Tent. The band appear in full bearded glory and tease the crowd with a taster of Teenage Dirtbag before launching into the bouncy anger of Truffles. With Brendan Brown proving that you can completely rock out with an acoustic guitar, the track transports me straight back to my bedroom at University and a sudden realisation that I really ought to be getting ready to go to a lecture rather than jumping around my room and pretending that a coat hanger was my guitar. (I couldn’t afford an actual guitar. I have two now. I am still not a rock star. The coat hanger training was of no benefit whatsoever.) Brendan then asks for a whisky, which he no doubt regrets when it arrives and is more like a half pint than a sensible measure. The crowd and the band try to encourage rock and roll excess in a ‘down in one’ fashion but Brendan craftily distracts them with a sing along to Leroy.
A frantic audience then dive around in front of the stage to Hump ‘Em and Dump ‘Em, another track eminently suitable for coat hanger shenanigans, whilst the band dance and run crazily 
across the stage. It becomes rapidly clear that if you come to see Wheatus, you had better come prepared to party. Another favourite song of mine follows with Lemonade…a tune that made it onto my soundtrack of my life list due to that summer’s cheating scumbag of a waster git-faced…erm, anyway, back to the review. The crowd are also loving Lemonade, wonderfully dedicated to the children at the festival (your time for disillusion with love will come), and are clapping along. A Little Respect becomes an awesome anthemic crowd and Wheatus collaboration with Brendan pointing out to a metal t-shirt wearing participant that he is singing and enjoying a song by Erasure. The set flys by with the fast-paced rock of BMX Bandits, a cover of My Name is Jonus by Weezer, the driving Hey, Mr Brown, the deceptively calm opening of The London Sun, dedicated to, and I quote, “ the Lord Demon F**k Murdoch.” Somewhat like the London sun, the Derby sun is also over and done with before it has begun but you can almost believe that the sun might come out during the beautiful The Story of the Eggs, a melodic muse that you should definitely download from Wheatus.com if you haven’t already. A crowd request for Wannabe Gangster is honoured and then the crowd erupts into a frenzy during Teenage Dirtbag. Brendan points out that the song only reached number two, kept off the top spot by Atomic Kitten. Now, if you know about my issues with Kerry Katona, you will appreciate the disbelief that settled at this news.
The epic anthem of my youth denied recognition by my mortal enemy. You can change this. Download Teenage Dirtbag 
during Christmas week and we can erase this disastrous decision by the mid-nineties record/cd buying public. Watch Wheatus whenever you get the opportunity. Their gigs are the most fun that you can have with your clothes on in a field
Over at the Tornado Town Tent it is time for some raucous rockabilly rhythms with a punk infused vocal and so that must mean it is time for the Graveyard Johnnys. With the frantic strumming of a double bass and energetically upbeat enthusiasm of the crowd, the early 
afternoon is off to a fantastic start. The tempo remains frenetic with the introduction of The Great Malarkey with their original brand of gypsy punk performance and the Tornado Town Tent is really rocking during their set. The crazy pace is kept up by Jack Rabbit Slim continuing the rockabilly theme with the crowd going crazy for Erotic Psychotic as Butfoy wields an eletro-acoustic guitar like a weapon and some members of the audience show their 1950s rock and roll moves. The Tornado Town Tent has turned into a dynamic dance floor and this continues into the finale of the night with swinging jazz courtesy of King Pleasure and the Biscuit Boys. With a fun-fuelled performance that indicates a high level of proficiency across a ridiculously large collection of instruments we are transported back to the 1940s with toe-tapping tunes and a brilliant level of enthusiasm and energy from the band ensure a hectic high for all of the festival goers ending their evening in the Tornado Town Tent.
Chumbawamba open their set with Song of the Times a strident call to the working man to stand up to repression, words from the past echoing into the consciousness of current sufferers of class injustice. Next up is the lyrical genius that is Add Me; our favourite lines being
Here’s a picture of me in my Nazi uniform
Doing a trick with an egg that I like to perform
At a monster truck rally that my Mum and me attend
Which would be hilarious if there wasn’t the possibility that people like that really exist out there in cyber space. The 
cheerful accordion and trumpet accompaniment belie the dark edge to the lyrics if you listen carefully. You need to listen carefully to Chumbawamba because they are singing anecdotal odes full of wit and importance which you might miss if you are focusing on the beautiful harmonies and vocals of the band. Homophobia is a pertinent portrayal of Saturday night in the big city and the terrible trauma faced by those who meet with prejudice from thuggish idiots. Voices, that’s all follows with the crowd being backing vocals and joining in to sing Everybody sang. If this song, with its underlying message of the cohesive power of community singing can resonate anywhere, it certainly is doing here at Bearded Theory Festival.
Stitch in Time a twisted tale of revenge by Mike Waterson is covered with its graphic retaliation by the abused wife and is followed by the wonderful ballad Ratatatay with its explanation of George Melly’s Dadaist response to being mugged. Moody does a fantastic rendition of the poem that has members of the crowd trying to join in with varying levels of success but a lot of enjoyment. The Day the Nazi Died is performed with passion; a plaintive plea to stand up to fascism in all of its guises. Moody then has the most fantastic instrument I have ever seen for the next track, a rattling review of the 
day that a Jewish POW survivor interrupted the Vienna Opera’s rendition of Wagner due to the links between him and the Nazis. Moody has a corrugated iron tie that makes a rattling sound when played and I want one so badly. The song is a timely reminder that music and culture are important facets of our society and we should make our choices carefully.
Charlie is an ode to Chumbawamba’s favourite bearded person according to our earlier interview, Charles Darwin and Timebomb is a catchy tune about the breakdown of society. The Mexican infused rhythms of El Fusaldo with its finger snapping beat engages the audience in some accompanying clapping. A sorrowful soliloquy to the loss of cultural artefacts On Ebay is then followed by Chumbawamba’s take on The Beatles Her Majesty, a very fitting song for all who like me are fed up with the frenzy of focus on the Queen’s Jubilee already. Chumbawamba are a band with beautiful melodies, music with meaning and hauntingly harmonic vocals. If you want songs with power, passion and protest, make sure you check out Chumbawamba sometime soon!
On the subject of strength and standing up for citizen’s rights, you would be hard pressed to find a better representative 
than Pauline Black from The Selector. Gracing the Main Stage as we approach dusk, the crowd enjoy the two tone vibe, bouncing around to the trumpet’s triumphant timbre. Black tells the audience that nostalgia is all well and good but that two tone also needs to say something about the here and now. Acknowledging the multi-coloured tapestry of artists and festival goers at The Bearded Theory Festival, she launches into My England with a fiery retort of This is my England too, which is a timely slap in the face to David Cameron with his recent idiotic statements about multi-culturalism. The crowd are joining in with the shout of ‘Oi, you’ and the diversity of sound in this track is exemplified by the switch to a soulful soprano which really showcases Black’s talent. The set is fast paced and fizzing with frenzied energy as the crowd dance crazily to new songs and old underneath a gradually darkening sky. The beautiful Back to Black Winehouse cover is a fitting tribute to the tragic chanteuse and shows The Selector’s versatility, with the ska style fitting perfectly. James Bond Killer has the crowd high knee stepping with an exhilarating level of energy that becomes even more pronounced with the introduction of On My Radio and Too Much Pressure The Selector are an ideal festival band, showing a vivacity and spirit that make their performance marvellously memorable. Two tone is back with a vengeance.
What do you get if you mix the booming beats of bhangra with radical guitar riffs and meld the music of the dhol and the tabla with stratospheric synthesiser sounds? You get Kissmet, a band that takes the notion of fusion music and redefines it into something of epic proportions. With cadences that pulsate, surge and swell around gallivanting groups of spectators, Kissmet soon have the audience whirling wildly to their rocketing rhythms whilst throwing in a couple of Bollywood moves. It is literally impossible to watch this band without smiling and jubilantly joining in!
The festival is brought to a close on the Main Stage with dub-dance masters Dreadzone. With 
their genre defying mix of sounds and a set alive with electricity despite a leg injury incapacitating MC Spee, who manages to gesticulate to the groove and get the crowd dancing, Dreadzone are experts at putting on a party. No-one is thinking about the mundane return to work on Monday. Fight the Power has a new resonance given current events and the crowd is soon singing along. The unmistakable opening of Little Britain has the crowd clapping along and jumping around like the weekend will never end. The reggae vibe comes to the forefront for Life, Love and Unity as the crowd bounce from side to side in time with the beat (most of them…some had consumed alcohol to the extent that rhythm had deserted them, but they gave it a good go anyway.) The bouncing continues throughout Iron Shirt with its towering vocals and the festival ends with a roar of approval from the crowd. Here at Lyric Lounge, we just can’t wait until next year’s Bearded Theory Festival. We will see you there!
